Your pain is important
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have, and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly. Patrick Overton
It is not what happens to you, but the way you react that counts.
Change and Transformation
There are many kinds of death and many kinds of sorrow, but most of these signal an end to an emotional era - a time of adjustment, re-evaluation and change, and a time to let go of emotional attachments that must now move onward with the passing moment.
Grief through the loss of a loved one, whether by death or separation, can be very hard to bear. It can take a long time to recover, and it is not often understood that when we are attached to something it becomes rooted in our aura. So when we lose this, it is not only physically removed, but also emotionally ripped away from us, which can leave an injury behind that needs time to heal, just like any other injury.
This is the normal process of nature, and it is important to allow ourselves to grieve. Yet, it is during these traumatic times that we can also discover a great deal about ourselves, and what we really want out of life. It is a time of transformation that we can use for our benefit or detriment, all according to how we choose to respond to the situation.
CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION are things that many of us find very difficult to deal with, so it is worth considering how these same issues may affect the world stage; and perhaps remember to occasionally light a candle for mutual empathy and concern between our nations, at this time of great International change.
Have you every seriously considered how you personally respond to emotional trauma in your life, especially when there is some form of loss involved? Do you find yourself suffering from unreasonable guilt or regret over past issues? If so, are you prepared to change the way you approach things now, so you don't have to waste this energy over events you are unable to alter in the future?
How many times have you heard yourself say
"I have no choice....."?
Actually we always do have a choice. It is just that some decisions are more difficult to make than others, but we make these decisions on what we decide is more important at the time.
What we find really 'precious' in life governs our choices, for surely - if anything is really that precious to us - we would make it a priority in life, whatever the cost, albeit financial or emotional?
Often we forget to appreciate the good things we have. It is human nature to take for granted what is given to us without effort, and sometimes we don't even realise what is precious to us, until it is gone.
What you feel counts - not only to yourself, but to other people for, if you let them know how you feel - what upsets you, hurts you, pleases you - in an atmosphere of genuine empathy and concern, they will appreciate you that much more, for they will know where they stand, and how to react accordingly.
And, if you allow your feelings to be truly expressed, there may never be any need for guilt or regret in the future.
When we are confronted with the idea of death - whether our own or that of someone else, it has a strange way of putting 'who we are' into perspective.
Many who have near death experiences have changed their life radically after the event, for they realise how much time is wasted over the more petty issues of life, rather than getting on and really living it. Some ancient religions used to always keep a skeleton in focus to remind them of the inevitable. This was not a morbid practice, but in some senses very liberating to realise that whatever our successes or failures, we all end up arriving at the same destination in the end.
However, there are other forms of death than just that of the physical body. For death really means an ending to a phase of experience, and it is the way we approach these endings that is important to our growth. Many of us tend to forget that with every ending there is always a new beginning.
The world is in the midst of an immense Spiritual transformation and change, giving birth to new life and a new era of understanding as we move out of the Age of Pisces. We can see it happening all around us, in our society, our children, our nations, and we can accept it, deny it, or grieve over it, but we cannot prevent life from moving ever forward with the passing of time.
Most of us have lived through situations where it has been emotionally very hard to cope. The intensity we experience at these times can cloud our ability to focus on more positive feelings, and yet it is often because of these moments of agony that we learn the most.
Sometimes, to stay in control of our lives, we have to try to let go of the grief and emotional attachments that hinder our progress. Grief and loss show us our own vulnerability to the forces of nature, but great strength can come from such vulnerability - for the very thing that seems to weaken us, also allows us to have more than a passing empathy with the pain of others.
We can welcome death with acceptance and wonder, or fight it with fear and regret, but which ever way you decide to greet it, you can be sure of one thing - and that is you are here and you are alive - and you are meant to be here, however alone you feel.
And, whether you believe in the Holy Presence of Angels or not, if you put out your hand, searching for comfort in a moment of despair, don't be surprised if you find that it's taken.
Image with wolf © Christy Grandjean (click image for website)
For what is it to die, but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Kahlil Gibran | Image © Kagaya.
All writings © J.Shell 1981 - 2005 (unless otherwise stated). All rights reserved.